Immortal
by stargirl97
Summary: No yaoi, yet. but depressing and feelings hurt and suicide. Rated M for suicide, potty mouth and probably later yaoi but not now


**A/N: I keep writing Hetalia fanfics. Probably 'cuz maybe I love it so much? (sarcasm) Uhhh I was thinking about writing one of these when my sister was reading a fanfic that almost made her cry, (I didn't read it) and it was about Alfred deciding that he didn't wanna love Arthur anymore and started being a dick about it and wouldn't tell Arthur why he was doing all these bad things or something.**

**I don't write Italy's human name or Germany's or stuff like that cuz I don't like their names.**

**Anyway, I loved learning about the Revolutionary War at school... Then I saw Hetalia. But it was my favorite thing in American history(because I hate american history :P)**

**Okay, gotta delete a bunch of the author's notes. Sorry I had so much before, I was really nervous cuz I'm not good at writing this kinda stuff! And Somebody wrote that it was misleading in the comments... I don't understand. What I said about the yaoi was, I'm working on it now, so please wait I'll have it uploaded asap! Sheesh! Some people just have no self control or common sense**

"How much does it hurt you?" Alfred asked from across the table. The two sat in white metal chairs, almost in a French design, and the table in-between them was actually a white card table. The set-up was courtesy of Alfred, something that was almost a custom Southern thing to not care for the decorating.

"What?" Arthur asked, his British accent made the end of his word sound high-pitched. With his tea cup in hand- an ugly white one at that- he fidgeted his fingers along it uncomfortably before placing it on a coaster. To his right, an open glass door that led to a balcony sat a few feet away to let in the few breezes that eased into the hot house. The sunlight peeked through, making it seemingly impossible to look out the door because of the blinding light. "Alfred, nothing is hurting me," he said in a questioned tone, cocking his head to the side to show his confusion with a smile on his face. But, his eyes said otherwise.

Alfred held the coffee mug tighter; it was very large, but he was sure that he could drink all of it. "Don't lie to me, for the past two months you've been nothing but walking around silently with that expression that makes everyone think you wanna off yourself." He stared into Arthur's eyes until he got the same thing from the other man. Now they could see one another quite very well. Alfred's face was hard and expressionless, but Arthur's was just as Alfred had described, sad, pathetic, like he was going to cry but his darkened face made him also look like he wanted to end his life. "Look, you got what you wanted; you're in my house, talking friendly with me! Isn't that enough for you!"

Arthur couldn't say what he needed to, and tried not to hear what he didn't want to. "It's not that at all." he mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"I said, 'It has nothing to do with that, you git!'" Then he got up from the chair he sat in, small aches in his lower back told him to never sit in a metal chair again. And he took long strides out the door, taking his jacket with him. The outside Southern air was not as humid as the Northern air, but the sun was much much hotter and it was windy. He closed his frustrated eyes that faced the opposite direction of the wind blowing, he could feel the long grass brush against his bare ankles, for this day he had worn pants that were a bit too small for his leg length. _I'll have to remind myself to get a 32X32 next time_. (A/N: ahhh, that's small!)

"Arthur! What's wrong with you! You don't burst out the door like that, it's not gentlemanly!" Alfred yelled, saying the gentlemanly part just so that he could get the other's attention. The British man's back faced Alfred, who stood five meters away. Past that was a dark forest in which Alfred knew would be a great way to run away if he didn't catch Arthur in time.

"I don't know what to say to you. Just let me speak for a minute, okay?" Not getting a response from the man behind him, he continued speaking what he wanted to say, how he felt. "You mercilessly left me that day. Even after I surrendered... It was nothing to be thought of... I feel unloved, and ever since that day... I haven't. I've always loved you even through the bad times. It feels like I am your brother _and _father... And to have your heart broken twice as much is just unbearable." Then he turned to look at his younger brother as tears welled up in his eyes, but he refused to look at the other's face and looked at his feet instead. Then, he shakily continued, gasping at the times when he needed to suck the lump in his throat, "I felt like I needed you... And sometimes, I still do. But you never want to accept those types of things... And that's why when I'm around you I look like I wanna kill myself, because the closer you let me get to you never helps me because _you _never get closer to _me!_" He shot his head up, allowing his tears to pour down his face uncontrollably. And even if they were, he'd let them fall.

"You're right, I don't ever feel like I need to get close to you. But, I do want you to at least be able to move on and try to be happy again," he said promptly without emotion. "Listen." Arthur looked up at the American. "Just because you don't have me anymore doesn't mean that you don't have others."

"But you have me!" Arthur yelled desperately through his tears. _Stop being so emotional dammit_. "I gave my entire heart to you! You overreacted over taxes and those stupid Writs of Assistance and all that other _shit!_" He took two steps forward. "And you fucked up just as bad, didn't you?"

Alfred widened his eyes. _I need to get some glasses soon_. "Don't yell at me like I'm a child! I know what I did, and I don't regret it, because the sake of my country is more important than your pathetic love!" Then Alfred remembered things he and Britain did together when they were younger. Always playing around, doing things that were so silly looking, you wouldn't even catch Italy doing them, and they looked so happy in his head. _What happened?_

Arthur's dark green eyes turned groggy, his cheeks were now red and his lips swollen. He felt a strong pang in his heart, like it had stopped beating. That's all he had needed to hear to throw his pain over the edge. "So, you have no use for me?"

"No! I don't need you!"

Arthur slightly parted his lips, gritting his teeth together, and got up to run away. Around the house and to the front yard to get into his car. His crying was so loud, it was painful to hear.

…...

The last memory he needed to think of was of his precious Alfred. _You were the only one I had, and now I have nothing_. He smiled sadly, his eyelids drooping a small bit. A piece of paper he held in his hand had writing on it. _But, I don't need it_. He took the sword clutched tightly in his hand. It was so dark in the room he was in, there wasn't a faint sight of light anywhere. He began to think of Alfred again, trying to remember every cherished moment. Every time they had contact of any sort, every time he had to wipe away little America's tears away, and every time they had to sleep in the same bed because the younger one had a bad dream. A small smile spread across his face as tears fell down his hot cheeks silently. Holding the paper against his chest with one hand, he held the sword out with the other, touching his chest with the pointed end. Then, he whispered, "I still love you." And with a large thrust, he felt the blade crush into his chest. "You'll always have me. I will never have you ever again. I lo-" He hadn't the strength to speak.

…...

"Oh... God! NO! GOD! OH MY GOD THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Alfred jumped from the sight in front of him. "Oh, God! TELL ME IT'S NOT HIM!" He could feel himself hyperventilating as he backed out of the doorway. The British man lied on his back on the blood stained wood floor with a shiny metal blade sticking out from where he had stabbed his own heart. His eyes were wide open and motionless, emotionless, lifeless and a dark, almost gray color. His mouth was curved into a tiny smile, and his face was wet from the tears he cried. His cheek was close to his shoulder, and he held his hands on his stomach, his legs slightly parted and bent. "Oh my god oh my god oh my god-" Alfred chanted over and over, leaping from the scene and ran outside. "Somebody help me!"

Matthew, who had drove Alfred to his older brother's house, jumped from the car seat. "Alfred...?" He looked over the car to see his friend on his knees, facing the ground, grabbing and pulling his hair, chest moving rapidly. Quickly, he began to run to where Alfred sat. "ALFRED!" He was closer now, then leaned down to grab the person's shoulders in front of him. "ALFRED CALM DOWN! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT"S WRONG!" He squeezed Alfred's shoulders to force him to breathe normally again.

"Oh my god, Matthew," his voice was hoarse and low. "It's horrible it's so damn horrible. Why did he do it! WHY DID HE DO IT!"

"Hey! Don't start up again! Breathe!"

Alfred began to slow down again. "I-I feel faint."

"Well, come on, I'll get you in the car. And if you want me to, I can call nine-one-one."

All he got back in return was a nod.

…...

_I was the only one who came to your funeral today, Arthur. Well, Canada was here to comfort me, but he left soon as he could. France was thinking about coming, but he was at Italy's house. Italy felt guilty about being scared of you, but his twin was celebrating. As was other nations. But, I know that this was all my fault. _

_It's raining. I hope it's not raining in Heaven. Well, I hope you're at ease now... But I'm going to have problems being without you._

_I love you._

_**A/N: Also, sorry if my American knowledge sucks, because I refer the north to ohio, indianna, michigan, and pennsylvanna, stuff like that and the south is whatever states are below that. I used to live in Ohio, and also in PA at one point, and now I live in Tennessee, so yeah, there's actually a huge cultural difference. I think they should've divided up the north and south as different characters in hetalia. Personally, I like the North, what about you?**_

**I'm so sorry if I hurt your chest or if I made you cry. It wasn't intentional at first. Like, this was going to be yaoi but instead, I decided to make it sad. **

**Yaoi in the last chapter if you wanna skip ;)**


End file.
